As with every story, there’s a beginning.
So here I am, sitting in a hotel room trying to conjure my own. Where do I start? More so, how do I start? With so much that had happened in my twenty something years, should I just continue where I left off? Or should I start off fresh?
That’s the beauty of new beginnings — you start with a clean slate. But as broken and conflicted as I was, as I am, I’m not sure if I’m ever gonna have my own. Or even a happy ending, for that matter. Sometimes a beginning, sometimes an end, but never both.
Not that I’ve become cynical. Nor a pessimist. Yes there are days that I do view the glass half empty but one is bound to have one of those one way or the other. I’m not an eternal optimist either. I tried but I came to realize that some things can never be. You just have to accept that fact and deal.
Which is the story of my life, basically.
While it’s true that you can’t have everything at once, that doesn’t mean you stop trying. Or living. Even loving.
So what gives?
Although I’m quite happy with my life right now, something’s amiss.
Wait, did I just write happy??? I can actually hear a collective gasp!
I am actually happy and content. Hard to believe but here I am six months status post.
What, with good friends and family, what more could a girl ask for?
I guess I’m ready for my slab of clean slate. Honestly, moping around sucks the life out of you and I’m tired.
I’m tired of dwelling in the past, of all the baggage.
I’m tired of playing the part and I’m tired of justifying my actions.
I’m ready.
I’m finally ready.
No more commas. Or colons. Or semicolons.
Definitely a period.
The page is turning, awaiting the next chapter.
And until then, I’m going to laugh at the confusion, live for the moment and know that eventually, all the pieces fall into place.
xoxo