Weeks Go By Like Days

As this is the last month of the year and that the holidays are almost upon us, this is usually the part where I whine and bitch and pathetically(!) plead for a change in my single status. But for some reason unbeknownst to me, somehow this year I don’t feel that way. What was the word I was looking for?….. uhm, yeah contentment.

Even I was kinda surprised. I mean I enjoy being single and all the perks that come with it but I also am ready to be in a relationship. My friends (married friends) always rag me about being too choosy. I say I’m selective on who I let in my life. I mean we’re talking about the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with! I earned the right to be picky, honey.

I think I’ve come to the point where I know not to rush anymore yet still be brave enough to tread the waters of the dreaded and tedious dating pool. Plus I’ve still have clothes that I bought that I haven’t worn yet —- gotta find me an excuse to dress up of course and have a good time with hopefully a great guy. Or as Emma Stone said, hot guy at the bar!

So yeah, as much as a singleton as I am right now, I’m actually looking forward to Friday nights, or even Thursdays or Wednesdays. I finally know what I want and what I need. But for now, nagging and bugging my cousins along with my nieces would suffice.

xoxo

The One with All the Thanksgivings

It’s that time of the year again. Autumn. Gold, red and yellow leaves falling. Maybe a hint of snow —definitely not here in the bay but that crisp air that wafts through. And of course, there’s Thanksgiving.

It may be so clichéd, but I like that you have this one day a year to gather all together and give thanks. Watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade in the morning followed by football. Yes, the niners are gonna kick some serious whoopass! Go niners! Then have dinner around 5ish in the afternoon and  be in a turkey coma after lol. And I’ve got a killer recipe for garlic mashed potatoes and my made-from-scratch pumpkin pie *wink* *wink*. As for the bird, best advice I ever got was just put in a bag and throw it in the oven — guaranteed fail safe

And as tradition goes, I am thankful for another year. For good health. Good friends.I am thankful that all of my hard work these past two years finally paid off.

I am thankful for the countless first dates. I continually learn something new about myself and my wants and needs.

I am thankful for the food on my table, clothes on my back, the roof over my head and for the people that really matter the most.

I am thankful that I live in a free country and have the freedom to do whatever I want. I am forever grateful to our troops who make it possible.

And not only am I grateful for all the things I have but also for the things that I don’t. It makes me realize that I have all what I needed.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody! Stay safe and gobble up

 

xoxo

 

Crash Into You

I’ve been looking at the calendar  as yet another summer comes to a close. Fall is just around the corner, I could feel and smell the crispness of the autumn air. It’s no secret that it is my favorite season of the year. It’s no secret nor coincidence either that it was the same season that I first fell for a guy. My heart got subsequently broken in the process but that’s just how it goes. What didn’t kill me only made me stronger.

Jaded — check. Cynical —  a big, fat check. But despite those, I don’t know, I’m still a romantic at heart although I’m not as naive as I was. Like I’ve always said, I’m not the same person I was two years ago. Even a few months ago. Hell, even five minutes ago! But some people and some people say that some love(s) stay with you. That’s just how it goes.

What if you want to leave that piece of you behind? Like how trees shed their leaves in preparation for the long winter ahead. It’s a bit unfair, don’t you think? It’s unfair that that part of yesterday will always be with you and you’ve got no say about it. No matter how things change. How people change.

But I know better now. I know better now not to confuse love with lust. Nor with want or need. Nor a yes when it really meant no.

I have learned to be my own person. Granted, I might be a singleton at the moment but I still long for the flutters, that one spontaneous spark. I still wish on that same shooting star that maybe, maybe just this once, it’d let me crash into you.

 

xoxo

 

Every Night Is Another Story

So yet another first date, another first hello. Another night, another cup of coffee, another round of stories, another goodbye. And oh yeah, dinner, if it comes to that. Maybe a glass of wine or two after.

It’s beginning to be the norm for me nowadays. So since that’s the case, I’ve decided to write about my so-called dating life. Not that I haven’t done that before, but I guess I want to do it from a perspective of a thirty-something. There, I said it, thirty-something — no, the world didn’t end and yes, I can finally say I’m that old and not have an ensuing nervous breakdown.

So from the highs and the lows, the hits and the misses (hopefully more hits than misses), the awkwardness and the comfortable silence, from the obscure to the profound, from each exchanged photos to the photoshopped ones, from each memorable spark to fuzzy recollections, to every yay or nay, it’s all gonna be in black and white.

Maybe the Universe will finally take pity. That or the Universe will finally give in from my relentless pestering.

xoxo

Laundry List (Part Trois)

As I turn another year older, ’tis the season to revisit my laundry list from 2 years ago

1.   Be a full fledged physical therapist   Done and done!!!!!

2.   Lose another 20 – 25 lbs —work in progress!

3.   Pay off my car. I only have a few months left on it  :)  — paid it off last August

4.   Read Dan Brown’s new novel,  “The Lost Symbol”  — done! Now reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

5.   Have my car detailed. I haven’t done it since I bought it LOL… car washes — yep, detailing — to follow —  well I’ve got no excuse — I’ve just been lazy

6.   Buy a new laptop — got a brand new spankin’ one!

7.   Go to Disneyland  (yey!)  — on the list next year

8.   Learn how to ski  (or even snowboard — again) — on my list next season

9.   Go to Vegas!!!!!!!!!!!  —October, baby!!!!!!

10.  Expand my social circle. — I have and it still continues to grow

11.  Throw away all my junk.

12.  Run more often (that would require a LOT of work LOL).  hmmmm……….. yeah LOL

13.  Speak up —- oh I’ve been speaking up lol

14.  Go on vacay —   already in the books for next year … wait, do mini-vacays count?????? I’ve got Florida in the books this November woot!!!!!

15.  Take more pictures. 

16.  Reconnect with old friends.

17.  Do I dare say fall in love again????  —  I am soooooooooooo ready!!!

xoxo

Aftermath

I think I’ve made a faux pas.

It was a second too late after I’ve pressed the send button. It’s a case of my fingers being faster than my brain. In this particular case, faster than my common sense. Ugh.

It’s just that it caught me off-guard when it happened that I was browsing through some obituaries. And I don’t know, of all the entries, it jumped out at me. It’s true what they say, it comes to you when you’re not looking.

It’s almost two years anyway (I think?). I’ve moved on and I’m happy where I’m at. Things change. People definitely change.

So yeah, I’m gonna stop stewing over this and get some sleep.

 

xoxo

Hiatus

I’ve been a very bad blogger.

I know it has been months since I last updated this blog. Least to say, I’ve been on a hiatus. Hell who am I kidding, this last few months have been uneventful — well lovelife-wise. Sure, I’ve been on dates here and there but that’s just the thing, they were just dates. Hit or miss, hit and miss most of the times. I guess what I’m trying to say is that not one was worth writing about. Damn, am I being too picky?????? Ah, the perils of getting old AND being single.

I’ve had the opportunity lately of being reconnected with old friends and high school classmates and it felt like nothing has changed. Aside from the fact that most of us have families of their own, careers that are flourishing, deep inside we are still those giddy, silly, one-of-a-kind, talented, complicated, competitive teenagers of our high school alma mater, our dear Saint Columban. I have to say those were the greatest years of my life. Well, kinda haha.

And since with all the reminiscing, one can’t avoid THE question(s). Are you married? Dating? Kids? Basically my answers are monosyllables — no, yes and no. I know I’m 30 and as typical with most Asian families, one is expected to finish school by your early 20′s, get married by your mid-20′s and basically be barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen by your 30′s. Me being 30 and *gasp!* single at the same time has violated all of it — well, the latter part, that is. What can I say, I was a late bloomer plus the fact that I’m just beginning to enjoy the fruits of my career. It took me 10 years to finally conquer the mountain that was the NPTE. A long time, yes, but it’s all worth it. All of it.

So yeah, right now, I’m loving where I’m at. Dates here and there. Meeting new people. Happy hour with friends. A career that I can honestly say that I love. Not having a lot of expectations but kinda hoping nonetheless. One still has to hope, right?

xoxo

Monologue

Last Sunday, our pastor at the church asked me last minute to read a monologue by Howard Shirley entitled Joy for Christmas — little did I know that this was practically close to home……

*********

It’s Christmas again. Not that the stores haven’t been telling us that since October, when it wasn’t Christmas at all. One of these days they’re just going to lump it all inot one big buying frenzy called “HappyHallowThankAChristmaHannukahdan”, just to cover the bases. But these days you just get Santa Claus stuck in with the Pilgrims, because nobody buys much besides a turkey before Thanksgiving.

Even if the stores weren’t constantly reminding me that it was Christmas, Mom’s always there to back them up. I get her on the phone and it’s,

“Did you remember Christmas is coming? I haven’t gotten my card yet — you have to send them early if you don’t want them showing up in January. You might want to get a head start!”

My yearly Christmas assignment — sending out Christmas cards to people I only contact once a year and haven’t seen since that last family reunion when I was in fifth grade. Oh joy.

Mom doesn’t stop with the cards.

” Have you been invited to any Christmas parties? “

she asks. Which is secret code for

” How’s your social life? “

And that’s always followed by

” Do you have  a date?

Which is not so secret code for

” Is there any remote possibility of grandchildren before the decade is out? “

(Sighs)

That’s Mom. Christmas is for family, and preferably family that is adding members both legally and biologically, and preferably in that order. Though last Christmas she actually told Aunt Marge that she was willing to accept a reversal in the process … We almost had to call the paramedics. That Christmas was a joyful one.

Okay, yes, I used to look forward to Christmas. What kid doesn’t love all the lights and the decorations and the presents? And when I was a teenager and in college, you couldn’t keep me away from a party. But these days —  these days I’m wondering what the fuss is all really about.

Every year it’s the same thing. Ads, muzak, lighting competitions sponsored by the power company — that doesn’t hurt their end-of-the-year profits — and the same dull parties with the same dull people spouting the same dull platitudes. And then when it’s all done, what’s changed? The world goes back to the way it was before. And Mom is left once again with no engagement to announce to her bridge club. That’s what Christmas is like for me.

I want it to be different. I really do. I want that joy back that I used to have at Christmas. Not the kind of joy of getting presents, but real joy. The joy of being certain that something special was happening, that when it was all done, the world would indeed be better. More hopeful. More peaceful. More joyful…. that’s what I want my Christmas to be.

*********

Coincidence? Or is the Universe finally telling me something? Either way, I do feel that this Christmas is special — in more ways than one.

And like I always say, this’d better be good, Universe, this’d better be good.

xoxo

Boxers and Tippy Toes

snippets of a conversation….

Her: Thanks…  hey, I’m just gonna take a quick shower. I’ll be right back.

Him: Okay. You’ll be smelling nice *smiles*

30 minutes later….

Her: Okay  I’m back — already brushed my teeth and in my pj’s as well.

Him: Awww that’s cute. What kind of pj’s?

Her: Flannel kinda sorta lol…

Him: *smiles* I just wear shorts. Or just boxers.

Her: Aah, a boxers kind of guy!

Him: Yeah. Do you like that?

Her: *grins* Does that answer your question?

Him: It does. You get on your tippy toes and I will wear boxers.

Her: That’s a sight to see lol…

Him: It is… kinda cute I think.  An awww moment.

Her: I couldn’t have said it better.

Him: I’m a sucker for those things *smiles*

Her: You really seem to be a romantic guy… I’m a hopeless one.

Him: I guess I am. I love those cute moments. I’m a big softie.

Her: I like that.

xoxo

Tippy Toes

Him: Haha yeah.  How tall are you again? You don’t mind a guy who is 6’1” do                   you?

Her: I’m 5’2” with an added half an inch on most mornings lol.. and no I don’t                    mind you being a lot taller than me.

Him: I don’t. I like that height.

Her: Cool. I’m glad we’re on the same page.

Him: Just have to lean down for hugs and kisses but that’s ok.  Just a sacrifice                    that has to be made.

Her: Awww… that or I could either stand on my tippy toes or wear high heels.

Him: True.  That’s cute.  Made me smile.

Her: I believe in compromise. That and an open communication. I’m the type                  of person who says what I mean and means what I say.

Him: That’s a good compromise.  I think if that does happen (you on your                            tippy toes) I will probably think back to this conversation and smile.

Her: You’re making me blush  … that’s so sweet.

Him: I blushed when you said the tippy toes and heels thing.

Her: Well I have to make up for some of the height difference, right? But I think                it’s actually romantic heehee….

Him: I do, too.  Are you affectionate?

Her: With the right person, yes. I like holding hands and long hugs and tender                    kisses.

Him: That sounds perfect.  I feel the same way.

xoxo