Crash Into You

I’ve been looking at the calendar  as yet another summer comes to a close. Fall is just around the corner, I could feel and smell the crispness of the autumn air. It’s no secret that it is my favorite season of the year. It’s no secret nor coincidence either that it was the same season that I first fell for a guy. My heart got subsequently broken in the process but that’s just how it goes. What didn’t kill me only made me stronger.

Jaded — check. Cynical —  a big, fat check. But despite those, I don’t know, I’m still a romantic at heart although I’m not as naive as I was. Like I’ve always said, I’m not the same person I was two years ago. Even a few months ago. Hell, even five minutes ago! But some people and some people say that some love(s) stay with you. That’s just how it goes.

What if you want to leave that piece of you behind? Like how trees shed their leaves in preparation for the long winter ahead. It’s a bit unfair, don’t you think? It’s unfair that that part of yesterday will always be with you and you’ve got no say about it. No matter how things change. How people change.

But I know better now. I know better now not to confuse love with lust. Nor with want or need. Nor a yes when it really meant no.

I have learned to be my own person. Granted, I might be a singleton at the moment but I still long for the flutters, that one spontaneous spark. I still wish on that same shooting star that maybe, maybe just this once, it’d let me crash into you.

 

xoxo

 

Laundry List (Part Trois)

As I turn another year older, ’tis the season to revisit my laundry list from 2 years ago

1.   Be a full fledged physical therapist   Done and done!!!!!

2.   Lose another 20 – 25 lbs —work in progress!

3.   Pay off my car. I only have a few months left on it  :)  — paid it off last August

4.   Read Dan Brown’s new novel,  “The Lost Symbol”  — done! Now reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

5.   Have my car detailed. I haven’t done it since I bought it LOL… car washes — yep, detailing — to follow —  well I’ve got no excuse — I’ve just been lazy

6.   Buy a new laptop — got a brand new spankin’ one!

7.   Go to Disneyland  (yey!)  — on the list next year

8.   Learn how to ski  (or even snowboard — again) — on my list next season

9.   Go to Vegas!!!!!!!!!!!  —October, baby!!!!!!

10.  Expand my social circle. — I have and it still continues to grow

11.  Throw away all my junk.

12.  Run more often (that would require a LOT of work LOL).  hmmmm……….. yeah LOL

13.  Speak up —- oh I’ve been speaking up lol

14.  Go on vacay —   already in the books for next year … wait, do mini-vacays count?????? I’ve got Florida in the books this November woot!!!!!

15.  Take more pictures. 

16.  Reconnect with old friends.

17.  Do I dare say fall in love again????  —  I am soooooooooooo ready!!!

xoxo

Hiatus

I’ve been a very bad blogger.

I know it has been months since I last updated this blog. Least to say, I’ve been on a hiatus. Hell who am I kidding, this last few months have been uneventful — well lovelife-wise. Sure, I’ve been on dates here and there but that’s just the thing, they were just dates. Hit or miss, hit and miss most of the times. I guess what I’m trying to say is that not one was worth writing about. Damn, am I being too picky?????? Ah, the perils of getting old AND being single.

I’ve had the opportunity lately of being reconnected with old friends and high school classmates and it felt like nothing has changed. Aside from the fact that most of us have families of their own, careers that are flourishing, deep inside we are still those giddy, silly, one-of-a-kind, talented, complicated, competitive teenagers of our high school alma mater, our dear Saint Columban. I have to say those were the greatest years of my life. Well, kinda haha.

And since with all the reminiscing, one can’t avoid THE question(s). Are you married? Dating? Kids? Basically my answers are monosyllables — no, yes and no. I know I’m 30 and as typical with most Asian families, one is expected to finish school by your early 20′s, get married by your mid-20′s and basically be barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen by your 30′s. Me being 30 and *gasp!* single at the same time has violated all of it — well, the latter part, that is. What can I say, I was a late bloomer plus the fact that I’m just beginning to enjoy the fruits of my career. It took me 10 years to finally conquer the mountain that was the NPTE. A long time, yes, but it’s all worth it. All of it.

So yeah, right now, I’m loving where I’m at. Dates here and there. Meeting new people. Happy hour with friends. A career that I can honestly say that I love. Not having a lot of expectations but kinda hoping nonetheless. One still has to hope, right?

xoxo

Boxers and Tippy Toes

snippets of a conversation….

Her: Thanks…  hey, I’m just gonna take a quick shower. I’ll be right back.

Him: Okay. You’ll be smelling nice *smiles*

30 minutes later….

Her: Okay  I’m back — already brushed my teeth and in my pj’s as well.

Him: Awww that’s cute. What kind of pj’s?

Her: Flannel kinda sorta lol…

Him: *smiles* I just wear shorts. Or just boxers.

Her: Aah, a boxers kind of guy!

Him: Yeah. Do you like that?

Her: *grins* Does that answer your question?

Him: It does. You get on your tippy toes and I will wear boxers.

Her: That’s a sight to see lol…

Him: It is… kinda cute I think.  An awww moment.

Her: I couldn’t have said it better.

Him: I’m a sucker for those things *smiles*

Her: You really seem to be a romantic guy… I’m a hopeless one.

Him: I guess I am. I love those cute moments. I’m a big softie.

Her: I like that.

xoxo

Tippy Toes

Him: Haha yeah.  How tall are you again? You don’t mind a guy who is 6’1” do                   you?

Her: I’m 5’2” with an added half an inch on most mornings lol.. and no I don’t                    mind you being a lot taller than me.

Him: I don’t. I like that height.

Her: Cool. I’m glad we’re on the same page.

Him: Just have to lean down for hugs and kisses but that’s ok.  Just a sacrifice                    that has to be made.

Her: Awww… that or I could either stand on my tippy toes or wear high heels.

Him: True.  That’s cute.  Made me smile.

Her: I believe in compromise. That and an open communication. I’m the type                  of person who says what I mean and means what I say.

Him: That’s a good compromise.  I think if that does happen (you on your                            tippy toes) I will probably think back to this conversation and smile.

Her: You’re making me blush  … that’s so sweet.

Him: I blushed when you said the tippy toes and heels thing.

Her: Well I have to make up for some of the height difference, right? But I think                it’s actually romantic heehee….

Him: I do, too.  Are you affectionate?

Her: With the right person, yes. I like holding hands and long hugs and tender                    kisses.

Him: That sounds perfect.  I feel the same way.

xoxo

Unfinished

Tuesday. 8:30 p.m….

I was in the car, waiting for him to arrive. As soon as he pulled over, I checked myself out one more time in the mirror then stepped out. The sun was about to set, painting the sky with a myriad of colors. My heart was thumping in my chest — second  date jitters?  It seemed for a moment I was unsure…

He grabbed a shirt from the backseat of his car and pulled it over his head with a finesse of a well-oiled machine. With those finely-tuned muscles almost rendering me speechless,  I walked over to where he was and he flashed that heart-stopping smile that I am now being accustomed to.  As we waited outside to be seated, we exchanged the usual pleasantries, still flashing me that megawatt smile from time to time.  And I was thinking, I could get used to that ……….

In the midst of a crowded sushi restaurant, with basically almost no wiggling room, I found myself being drawn to him. It’s not just that pretty face, nor those twinkle in his eyes, nor the clothes that fit him so well he could’ve just stepped out from the pages of  GQ.  It’s his wit, his level of maturity that won me over more than anything else.  And the more we talked, the more I found myself liking him. Beginnings of flutters, I wonder? And I didn’t even have sake!

Teasing.  Laughter.  Witty banters.  What’s a girl not to like?  It’s been a while since I’ve met somebody who can be at par with me and at the same time pique my curiosity.  Plus that damn marquee-lights-up-in-Broadway killer smile. Where’s the dim button when I needed it???

Alas, dinner went by and we were among the few ones left as the restaurant closed.  As we walked out, he asked if I wanted to walk or even drive around.  I got into his car and we drove aimlessly for a while, playing name that tune on his radio.  I can feel the breeze flowing through my hair, feeling carefree and reckless at the same time.

We finally found a secluded spot and he turned the ignition off,  but leaving the music on,  filling the comfortable silence between us.  Moonlight flooded the interior of the car as he slid the moon roof open, adding to the chiseled silhouette of his face.

30 Things I Learned at 30

30.  People will always disappoint you.

29.  Good friends will stand by you, no matter what, no questions asked.

28.  I like my men clean cut, tall and funny. Especially funny.

27.  I’m a sucker for sappy love stories.

26.  Carpe diem!

25.  You still have to mind your p’s and q’s, dot your i’s and cross your t’s.

24.  There’s a time for everything. Having said that, there’s a reason for everything too.

23.  That I can put up with so much crap.

22. Wanting and needing are two very different things. I learned it the hard way.

21.  I’ll always be a little kid at heart.

20.  How to perfect a mean chicken macaroni salad.

19.  Little things do matter.

18.  That I am going to be a good therapist.  

17.  I could really be a smart-ass.

16.  That you could really be flexible in certain positions … ahem *wink**wink*

15.  How to fall from a 20 foot ravine and still keep your composure.

14.  Knowing when to hold on, hold back and let go.

13.  Saying yes when you really mean yes.

12.  That it’s not unprofessional to take your birthday off! It’s my day, I have the right to spend it however I want it!

11.  Mothers are well, will always be mothers. No matter how grown up you become, mothers will always see you as their babies.

10.  A little luck, lots of hard work and prayer go a long way.

9.   Friday nights are what your girls are for.

8.   That you can go from a size 18-20 to a size 10. If interested, inquire within.

7.   People watching is so much fun!

6.   Family trumps everything. And I mean everything.

5.   That sometimes against all odds, against all logic, we still hope…..

4.   I can really be stubborn and anal for my own damn good.

3.   Being 30 is not the end of the world. Feels like it, but it’s really not.

2.   You’re never too young or too old to go on adventures.

1.   I’m ready to fall inlove all over again.   

So as I turn 30 today, I’m grateful for all that I have — the roof over my head, the food on my table, the clothes on my back and the people in my life that matters the most.

Here’s hoping for another great year ahead!

xoxo

Laundry List (Part Deux)

In accordance to an earlier post………

Things I needed to do and hopefully accomplish before or by the time I turn 30:

 1.   Be a full fledged physical therapist —   I’ve got two months left!

2.   Lose another 20 – 25 lbs — having a weight loss challenge with friends

3.   Pay off my car. I only have a few months left on it  :)  — one more month!!!!!

4.   Read Dan Brown’s new novel,  “The Lost Symbol”  — I don’t have enough downtime .. what between Facebook, Tumblr and my blog, I need more  ”me”  time

5.   Have my car detailed. I haven’t done it since I bought it LOL… car washes — yep, detailing — to follow —  well I’ve got no excuse — I’ve just been lazy

6.   Buy a new laptop —  my old one has so much sentimental value

7.   Go to Disneyland  (yey!)  — right after I’m done with internship

8.   Learn how to ski  (or even snowboard — again) — on my list next season

9.   Go to Vegas!!!!!!!!!!!  — sometime this year

10.  Expand my social circle.

11.  Throw away all my junk.

12.  Run more often (that would require a LOT of work LOL).  hmmmm……….. yeah LOL

13.  Speak up.

14.  Go on vacay —   already in the books for next year … wait, do mini-vacays count??????

15.  Take more pictures.

16.  Reconnect with old friends.

17.  Do I dare say fall in love again????  — was just about to but things got a little bit complicated so I’m still holding off  on that thought…..

xoxo